Tuesday, July 19, 2016

The Traveling Swinger: Las Vegas

Claire and I are curious about other people’s experiences swinging in other cities, countries, or on swinger destination vacations. We have decided to share our own travel experiences and those of our friends. We welcome submissions from our audience: reviewing clubs, regional or national swinger parties/events, and swinger destination vacations.

The Red Rooster
From a swinger in her early forties: When your home base is the Bible Belt and you travel to Las Vegas, you imagine the swinger scene is going to be so much wilder and more slick, because it’s Vegas, right? You imagine that people are traveling from all over the country and other parts of the world to Sin City, for some quality debauchery. However, there is another stereotype of Las Vegas, that was more apropos for my husband’s and my experience at Red Rooster. This is the good old boy locals that Robert De Niro encounters in the movie “Casino.” In other words, desert rednecks. On one hand, you have the glam, luxury side of Vegas -- brand new, flashy mega hotels and expensive restaurants and decor. On the other hand, you have the flipside of Vegas -- Tier 2 and Tier 3 casinos with wood panelling and all you can eat $10 buffets, that have seen better days, and/or walking down the strip and getting bombarded with brochures advertising $2 hookers.

After cursory research on the Internet, thinking it wouldn’t be so hard to find the swinging scene in Vegas, we noticed that a club called the Red Rooster got the most positive reviews. This is not necessarily saying much. One review described the place as “divey,” but I figured divey in Vegas had to be better than divey back home, or maybe it would be the kind of divey with character: meaning a place that’s so outrageous it borders on legendary, because it is so authentic, unusual, and original you can impress all your cosmopolitan friends by telling them you’ve been there.
The first realization about this place is that it isn’t on the Strip. In fact, it isn’t anywhere near the strip. This is interesting because most tourist places in Vegas aren’t that far away. My husband and I took Uber. The driver either immediately Googled the club, probably wondering why two tourists were venturing out to the middle of nowhere or maybe we weren’t the first clients he’d had who went there. In any case, he gave us a knowing leer. When my husband asked him to stop at the gas station to buy breath mints,  he started asking me questions about whether we went to “these sort of clubs” often. I muttered something vague and noncommittal; however, his nosiness and the fact that we were already in a sketchy looking part of town caused me to wonder if we would end the night with our bodies in a ditch. Cue Ry Cooder’s theme music from “Paris Texas, with the rattlesnake and twangy guitar sounds.

The club could have been in a Coen brothers movie. Imagine a sort of bland and sleepy lower middle-class suburban tract house neighborhood, 20 minutes from the Strip. Instead of having a tacky sort of charm, it was just plain tacky. Now imagine somebody deciding to turn their grandmother’s dated ranch house into a honky tonk roadhouse. The make-over itself looked dated and it was superficial enough that you could still see that this was originally a ranch house. It looked like somebody had thrown a swinger party 30 years ago and simply left everything in place like Sleeping Beauty’s castle, but without the magic. The only salient detail I can remember was a large, signed poster of Ron Jeremy.

My husband and I arrived and walked around the main area of the club. While there’s someone for everyone, these people were not for us. The attendees were a mix of what appeared to be locals in their late 40’s and 50’s and the chain restaurant type of tourist-- picture college spring breakers who are now middle-aged and looking to get a little wild lip-synching to Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” and showing a little t&a. It was karaoke night. After three minutes, my husband put in a call to the Uber driver to come back and get us. However, we saw a more attractive couple there and realized that these were the people who contacted us on SDC speed date. At first we didn’t see them. We figured that they were smarter than we were and decided not to come to the club or that they arrived before we did and had already left.
They were pleasant enough and said that they were just getting back into swinging after taking a hiatus for a few years. The woman was ready to go, or so she said. Meanwhile, her husband told my husband that he did not yet feel comfortable in this sort of environment, and that he felt over-stimulated. I’m figuring this had something to do with the issues Audrey and Claire discussed in “Swinger’s and Performance Anxiety.” I told him that was totally cool with me and we didn’t have to do anything at all, if his wife wanted to play with my husband. The other couple got up and headed towards the bar. My husband and I figured they were going to have a couple’s “meeting of the minds” and wanted some privacy or maybe they went to refill their drinks. After ten minutes we noticed their bottle was still at the club (it was BYOB), but they were gone, without so much as a goodbye. Being the veteran swingers that we were, we recognized this as noob drama, and that it had nothing to do with us, but it did make for a humorous end to the night. The bedrooms in the house still looked like ranch house bedrooms and rather than get crazy on the rubber sheets, we decided to head back to our hotel on the Strip.
Audrey here: After reading about this experience at the Red Rooster, I looked the club up on Yelp! and noticed that one of the positive reviews was written by a porn star who bills herself as a “plumper.” As Jerry Seinfeld would say, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Hint #2: One reviewer exclaimed, “This place was packed for a MAMMORIAL day weekend!” While I appreciate a good “dad joke,” I draw the line at mammary puns.

The Second Night
I had my husband sign us up for this “party” I read about on SDC, on the party page. It was called Swinger’s Circle. I thought it was a regular LS party, with lots of people. Unfortunately, after he had already paid the $85 to sign us up, my husband clarified that it was an orgy. The formula was limited to eight couples in a suite at the Flamingo Hotel, where they give you your room number at the last minute.

I was pissed off that we had paid $85, thinking it was a party and then learning it was an “orgy” with only four other couples (that night), whose profiles the organizers would not let us see. My husband, ever the humorous cynic, said:  “That’s a new one. Instead of them paying hookers, they get swingers to pay to screw them. And we don’t even know what they look like.” The hosts supposedly have some sort of ice breakers like strip poker. Needless to say my active imagination once again defaulted to the worst case scenario. I figured that either these were going to be more noobs with noob drama or unattractive people who figured that the $85 they paid was a free pass to fuck all the attendees. Or better yet, they roofie us, beat us up, rob us, and leave us for dead, figuring we are deviants and deserve it. I had seen the camp classic “Eating Raoul” as a teenager and this triggered my worst fears about swinging.

My husband and I actually walked past the Flamingo at the designated time, 9:30pm on a Thursday night, after catching the Absinthe show at Caesar's Palace. We hesitated for a moment; however, my fears about safety; connected with the fact that we knew nothing about the event, the organizers, or the other attendees won out and we decided to cut our losses and head home.
I read about another club in Vegas, called the Green Door, that might have better decor and is closer to the Strip, but online reviews trashed it because every night is Single Male night due to the greed of owners, and some people said the proportion of single males to couples was ten to one. The online reviews also mentioned an invite only club called Couples Oasis. However, I didn't plan far enough ahead to work that angle, as you have to be recommended by current members. I am guessing there’s more action in Las Vegas turning vanillas at regular clubs or hotels, or if you go there for a big LS party or convention.

Ironically, our best bet in Vegas would have been this very attractive young Swedish couple in their late twenties who traveled to Vegas on vacation, but also to elope, because their dream was to get married by Elvis. We met them at the pool of our hotel and struck up a conversation with them. We hit it off so well that we invited them to dinner as a present for their upcoming marriage. There was definitely some flirting and some suggestive banter. At the end, we didn’t take it further. There was something about their relatively young age and the fact that they were getting married. We did not want them to think we had tricked them by inviting them out to dinner. The truth was that we truly enjoyed their company and did want to give them the wedding gift of dinner at a fancy restaurant. We told them that we had been married twenty years and wished them luck. They were very touched and told us that in twenty years they would have to come back to Vegas and do the same thing for another young couple to pay it forward.

8 comments:

  1. Next time you are in Las Vegas please visit us at www.risquevegasestate.com

    Loved your article!!

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  2. Recommended for you use a Private Coco Swingers Club in Las Vegas
    http://swingerslasvegas.com/ You can have fun !!!

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  3. Very true! We loved your review but we wished we read it before we left home in LA. We had the exact same expectations and same disappointment :(

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  4. WOW! From what was said about SwingersCircle the author clearly states they didn't know what the party was about and signed up blindly. Only to find it was a party not to their personal liking so they bash it? Really? Are they even qualified to "judge"? They clearly have no clue as to the lawsuits they are opening themselves up to.

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    1. Lol. They used their opionion and made no actual disparagement. A lawyer is going to have a hard time if he was stupid enough to try. But that you are so angry about it speaks worse about the thing than anything they said.

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    2. Lol. They used their opionion and made no actual disparagement. A lawyer is going to have a hard time if he was stupid enough to try. But that you are so angry about it speaks worse about the thing than anything they said.

      Delete
  5. It's hard to have any complaints about this place. It's easy to get a drink since they actually keep enough bartenders working at once, and at event space San Francisco you'll almost always find a place to sit. I love the vibe, the area, the people and the food at this place.

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