Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Results of Swinger Lifestyle Survey

Thank you to the 82 respondents who answered our survey blog post, that we posted on SDC, and local swinger forums. Now the time has come to find out where you stand compared to the rest of the LS community (who participated in the survey) and for us to share our findings about this community.

Most of the answers will probably not come as a surprise to the people who actively participate in the LS. However, to non-swingers, the message of these survey results is that swingers tend to be relatively thoughtful and deliberate about their choices and interactions in this community, as opposed to the “sex-fiend underworld” stereotype outsiders may hold of about this subculture. If you were talking about single, vanilla people going out to bars and clubs to hook up, the answers might not be drastically different. The challenge swingers face is how to effectively navigate this, as a couple.

How long have you been in the Lifestyle: 84% have been doing this more than 2 years. We feel that the survey may have self-selected people with a longer-term vested interest in the Lifestyle, due to their active participation in swinger dating sites or forums.

Frequency with which people go to swinger parties or events: The answers were fairly evenly distributed here, with majority falling into one of the following four categories: ranging from 21% who went out once a week, 25% who went out twice a month, 24% who went out once a month, and 28% who went out less frequently.


Among the type of LS events people attended, swinger club was the most popular, followed by house parties, although 20% did get together in vanilla venues as well.

In response to how often did you play when you went out to LS events in the past 6 months, close to a third answered “half the time,” followed closely on the heels by another 30% who answered “occasionally.” We were surprised by the relatively high number of respondents (20%) who answered that they played every time they went to an LS outing in the past six months.

No big surprise that the majority answer to: “This is your first time at a swinger event/club where you don’t know many people,” was to “go up and introduce yourself to other people.” To be active as a long-term swinger, it helps not to be a wall-flower.

40% of the respondents answered that they were more likely to play the first time they met new people, while 36% answered that they were more likely to play the second time they met people.

Almost 50% of the LS respondents answered that they only swapped as a couple; as compared to 28% who declared themselves to be “full-open.”

The overwhelming answer to “Who takes the lead in picking play partners,” was both members of the couple at 64%. The rest was evenly split between the male or female, as the one doing the choosing - 16% for male and 18% for female, and a tiny percent, where each half of the couple took turns being the chooser.

Another overwhelming response was “full swap with another couple,” in answer to what kind of sexual play the couple was looking for.

In answer to who you most often play with, 35% answered “people that they had played with before,” and 28% answered “new people.”

Among the most important attributes in choosing play partners, personality came in first with 49% and looks came in second at 22%.

For those of you who have wondered about the role of alcohol, or where you stand therein for the LS crowd, 43% answered 3-4 drinks and 30% answered 1-2 drinks. Given the duration of a swinger event, which is usually four to five hours minimum, this did not seem any higher than a comparable vanilla crowd, going out for the same time period.

Swingers would appear to be relatively easy going about their play expectations. When asked what their primary expectation was at swinger outings, 38% responded “Go with the flow” and 34% answered “to have fun socializing,” compared with 27% who responded “to play with or meet future potential play partners.”

The answers to “How frequently have you and your partner got into an argument before, during, or after a swinger interaction, related to the LS?,” were fairly evenly split between 32%, who answered “a few times,” and 30%, who answered “never.” Significantly, another 10% answered that they had gone through an LS-related arguing phase in the past.

The most common responses given to politely reject play inquiries when the couple was not interested were the very honest “Sorry, not feeling a connection this evening” at 36%” and “Just feeling like socializing” at 31%.

55% of the respondents answered that they had taken a break from the LS in the past, compared to 43% who had never done so. Only 3% of the respondents answered that they were considering taking a break at the current time.



An overwhelming 58% of respondents answered that the LS had improved their relationship with their partner. The second biggest demographic was the 31% who responded “All of the above at different times,” with the options being “improved,” “neutral,” and “challenging.”

A very overwhelming 67% of respondents declared that the LS had positively affected their self esteem, compared to only 1%, who felt the LS had had a negative impact. 10% declared the LS impact on their self-esteem to have been neutral and 22% answered “All of the above at various times.”

47% of full-swap LS respondents answered that they would be willing to participate in soft-swap and 30% answered that “It depends on the level of the attraction.”

When asked “How often have you ‘taken one for the team’?” a majority of 57% answered “once or twice” compared to 23% who answered “never.”

The most popular response to “Top reasons for not hooking up with a couple for an additional time,” was “limited chemistry with one or both members of the couple” for 48% of respondents.

For our respondents, the biggest turn-on during play was “general chemistry, sexual compatibility” at 54%, followed by “enthusiasm of your play partners” for 30%.

The top 3 “biggest turn-offs before or during play” were “bad hygeine” at 28%, “pushiness” at 20%, and “feeling like play partner is not into you or into the play” for 17%.

When asked “What are your thoughts on orgies/group sex (five or more people playing together)?” 39% answered that it was a good experience; 34% answered that it depends on the circumstances/people; and 15% had never participated in an orgy.

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